Well, would you look at that … I’m actually quite strong! Shit! Who knew? Not me, that’s for sure. But, for the first time in my life, I’m not giving up on me.
I’m proud of me.
I am incredibly humbled by the support I’ve received. Humbled isn’t even the right word. Inspired! Awestruck! My cheering section is loud, proud, and I’m pretty sure, holding glitter signs to cheer me on!
My support team. You’re awesome. Texts that cheer me on first thing in the morning, friends stopping me in the hall checking in and giving a ‘woo hoo’, my teammate who everyday says “you’ve got this girl” and today told me that I’m a fifth of the way through, to everyone who has in some way said “ok, how can I support you,” you are incredible. My bestie even affectionately now calls me twitchy. For the last 5 days, there has been a vein in my right eyelid that keeps twitching. Driving me bonkers. It makes me smile! The name bestowing, not the twitching. The twitching is awful. To the ‘victims’ of my cooking, thank you for eating whatever concoction I throw in front of you. I even got a loved one to eat AND enjoy Brussels sprouts. My work is done. Wait, nope, not yet … 24 days to go ….
My parents. Holy crap they’re awesome. While I trudged through Progress Report writing, they took on my shopping list with fear in their eyes. With the promise that I would answer my phone (I hate answering the phone), they went off to Whole Foods and King Soopers!
“Is pink sea salt ok? I only see pink. Oh wait! Red Hawaiian Sea Salt!”
“Meanna, your dad is going to read you the label from the spicy brown mustard.”
Rock stars. Both of them.
Kroger brand low sodium bacon doesn’t have sugar! Who knew that finding no sugar bacon was going to be a challenge?! Not me!
Did you know that there is sugar in Morton’s iodized salt?!? Sugar is in everything.
I’ve digressed. And I sound like I’m giving an acceptance speech.
In my journey, who you should feel sorry for is not me. Nope. You should feel sorry for the 26 2nd Graders who, for the last 6 days, have experienced an uncaffinated, sugar detoxing, and eye twitching crazy person, as a teacher. Those poor kids. Sigh.
In all seriousness though, this has been an incredible experience. For my entire life, I have felt that food was in control of me. However, in the last 6 days, I have shown that I am, in fact, much stronger than I ever thought I could be. The first and second days were the hardest. Let’s talk about teaching in an elementary school where cupcakes, fruit snacks, and chocolate are readily available. Sigh. For the first two days, there was a constant voice in the back of my head telling me I was only one day in and that if I cheated that I could easily start over. What the whole 30 has taught me is that the only person getting cheated is I. Am I worth less than a handful of fruit snacks? Am I worth less than a frosting laden cupcake? 6 days ago my answer would have been yes.
I also greatly took to heart the Whole 30’s philosophy of hitting the reset button on ALL parts of your life. What I have come to realize is that at least 90% of my social interaction with friends and family revolves around either food or alcohol. There is nothing wrong with that … unless your relationship with food is unhealthy, which mine is. Was. Is.
This last week I made one of the hardest decisions I have made in a long time and decided to put my health and me first. Some of my best and dearest friends were coming to Boulder for a reunion of sorts, which from my experience, heavily revolves around food and copious amounts of alcohol. A Half-Fast Sub. A drink at the Dark Horse … just kidding. drinkS at the Dark Horse … eating and drinking at The Sink, a 2 am gyro and delicious jelly peach rings from the Smelly Deli. Our memories and traditions revolve around food and I knew I wasn’t strong enough to spend the weekend around food and alcohol. I put my FOMO (urban dictionary that … it’s what all the kids are saying) in the back part of my brain, and made the conscious decision to not go for the whole weekend. I was disappointed. I knew people were going to be disappointed. But I want to be able to see these friends 30 years from now and on the track I was headed, that wasn’t guaranteed.
This is hard. Yes. But it’s not that hard. It’s hard to resist the candy bowl in the middle of the table at a meeting. It’s hard to not drink coffee because I refuse to drink it without creamer (yuck!). It’s hard to not have Chipotle. It’s hard not to pop just one piece of chocolate. But it’s not that hard.
I am putting me first. I am putting my health first.
I am strong. I’m doing this. 24 days to go. I got this! Right?
In case you aren’t on the ‘gram, my dinners thus far …
Pork Burgers stuffed with (sugar free) bacon and eggs
Roasted Balsamic Brussels sprouts!
Lime Dijon Chicken
Roasted Green Beans
My first dining experience out! Boulder Chop House
Steak and Brussels Sprout Slaw
Homemade paleo meatballs
Leftovers for dinner, but I roasted some awesome Pepita Seeds for snack!
Roasted Broccoli (I LOVE any veggie that’s been roasted!)
Cracklin’ Chicken from NomNomPaleo
Want more from MaryAnna? Post #1 HERE